How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Are we still banned from the library?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
