I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize