I could make wine with my vomit
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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