drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
