remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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