belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
