Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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