I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
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