In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
