You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
