just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
