your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
operation have a gay friend backfired
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
