I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
