I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
