I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
