The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize