Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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