Do you still have your period?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
