All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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