She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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