Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
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