I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
You took a bar mat shot.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
