Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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