i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
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you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You've changed since you got that strap on
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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