Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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