You're my little dorito
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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