Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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