Screwed.edu
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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