Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
