feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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