Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.