I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?