she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
