Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My hand turned me down
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?