My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
My ATM looks so different sober.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.