So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks