I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
