I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Randomize
