my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
