I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
