I'll bet she douches with gravy.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Randomize
