love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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