He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
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i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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