If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
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So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
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Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
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