Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
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