but the lizard people decide everything anyway
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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