I heard we made out
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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