I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
