I'm sorry my penis didn't work
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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