I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
