i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Randomize
