I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
