I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
