my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
