that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
