please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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