So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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