Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
