And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
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She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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