You're a womanizer and a bitch.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Randomize
