i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
we're making bets on your personal life
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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