return my video game
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
