Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize