Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
