What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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