If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
