I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
