I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
