I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancรฉ called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ๐๐๐๐
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