Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
